Airport crisis breaks my heart

The Suvanabhumi airport crisis has really affected me, especially personally. I've been in and out of that airport so often, I can find my way even when blindfolded (I think!).

But I don't particularly like the place. It's cold and almost clinical. Now I do not even think it is safe anymore, after the anti-Thaksin supporters stormed and seized the place.

But I guess these are things I have to live with while being here in Bangkok.

The saddest part of it all for me is that my mum, who was supposed to spend the month of December with me, can now longer come. And I am finding it difficult to go home.

Most tickets are booked, and anyway there is much to do here in terms of work before I can really leave.

I had a grand plan laid out for my mum, and had wanted to give her a really nice Christmas holiday this time.

I've discovered so many exciting places that I want to share it with her. But alas!

She really wanted to visit Siamreap this time, especially the Angkor Wat, and we were supposed to travel by land, to savour the country side. "It's the only place left to go" she said.

"If I don't travel anywhere else after this,it's okay". Mum is a seasoned traveller, especially when dad was still alive. And they didn't quite make it to Cambodia.

I thought I could make her wishes come through. I think I had planned it for almost a year. It makes me feel bad that I cannot take her when I want to. Surely, we could travel via KLIA.

But she isn't feeling good about the whole thing anymore. "Lets just stay at home," she says.Then comes the next question: When can I go home?

And that is why I hate to plan things. It never works out the way you want. I am more of a footloose and fancy free person, a free spirit.

And when I don't plan, things really work out better than I expected. Is the universe trying to send me some kind of message here?

One thing's for sure, it's really bad when you are not in control of your movements, what more your destiny.

Sigh, I don't feel free anymore, in this land, which is supposedly famous for its freedom.